the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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