so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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