the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
