No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
