i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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