When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
