ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
