that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
