if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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