you win again, gameday.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
