Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
