I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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