I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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