she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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