I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
