I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
