We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
