we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
