DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
