How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
