guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
