I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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