hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize