I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
