I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Actions speak louder than pants.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
