You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize