I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
