The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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