Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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