tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
