make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
