fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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