I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
