You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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