A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
