Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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