Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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