I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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