$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
