I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize