Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize