I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
