Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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