put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
