He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
