Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
