I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
