I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
