So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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