Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
