I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
