So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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