no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
