Nicole vs. Life
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
