Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
