Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
