she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
