i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
