girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
