tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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