yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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