the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
