hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
